You Asked Me To Describe It So I Did


shesaid                                                                                   iwantyou                                  todescribe it/                describe

isaid/                isaid/                                        youcannotdescribe       it/its/     morethanjust/               a clenched                    
isaid/                itfeelslike                     autopilot/racing/                       butalways2slow/                                               itshouldbe/                

            adream/          but/   iamnothatlucky/                                   youarelucky/                            shesaid/
                                    lucky2bealive/                                                isaid/                                        thatisnotlucky/ isaid/                                                                                             

thereisafamilyofmiceinmylungs/          theyaretramplingonmychest/                                               &icantbreathe/                                                                                                                                                                                                              
shesaid/                        iwantyoutodescribeit/                                              again/                                                                  isaid/
itfeelslike/                    speedingdownonewaystreets/               nodirection/                 nostoplights/                         and/ &/

andthecarsdonthavebrakes/doesnothavebrakes/imeanmyheartdoesnthavebreaks/imeanicantbreathe/icantsee/ yousaiditwouldgetbetter/whyisthereafistinmythroat/whyaretheremiceinmylungs/whatdotheywant/whatdothemicewant/
fromme/whatdoeseveryonewant/whatdoeseveryonewantfromme/doctor/ doctor/icanfeelit/ icanfeelhowimgoingtofailyou/howimgoingtofail/howiamgoingtobreak/going2crash/allflame/norebirth/        
howdoyoumanageachokingthroat/                                                                                                                                                     doctor/  
whydoifeelthisway/                                                                                                                                                                        recovery/

shesaid/                                                                                                                                                                                           sucks/

andthen/                                                                                                                                                                                itgetsbetter/
butnotyet/                                                        now/                          itisjust/ ahighway/acrookedinterstate/
                                                                                                            thatwouldgivemeanxiety/                                                    isaid/          


shesaid/                                                                                                                                                                               iknow/                                                                                                                                                              

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Joanna Gordon

is a spoken word poet from the gentrified swamp lands of Hawaii Kai. She graduated from the University of Hawaii at Manoa with a degree in English and will pursue a Master of Fine Arts in poetry at Western Washington this upcoming fall. Gordon is interested in topics of white privilege, mental illness, and feminism. She enjoys work that tells stories that are deeply honest and visceral.